fuck my retarded life

[paroxetyne]

What is it about the human mind that just gets hooked on morbid curiosities? I honestly have been desensitized to so many forms of death because of how good and addicting it just gets to watch people die. This shit is like porn because i really can't pull myself to look away no matter how gruesome the content is, it just reminds me of how pathetic and fragile life truly is.

And in the end, it costed me my anxiety and paranoia progressively getting worse. Sometimes i would just be reminded that anything could happen throughout your day and one simple mistake can lead you to death which immediately made me feel uneasy as fuck. This is genuinely ruining my life because the amount of worry and concerns i would experience is nothing but depressing.

It just shows how you can't trust anyone, not even yourself. Especially when i have such a shitty mental health, i could seriously end up harming myself or others and i can never understand why we are the way we are. There are literally people on the brink of committing a murder around you and just imagine if they acted onto their intrusive thoughts.

I hate how gore fuels my curiosity